Kidnation Blog

9 SIGNS THAT YOU NEED RENEWAL

There’s a sign along the side of the road that says, “Watch for ice on bridge.”  So, what do you do?

You pull your hand away from your child’s burning forehead.  So what do you do?

An irritating sound from the smoke detector warns that the device is about to stop working.  So what do you do?

Our lives are full of warning signs–signs that hopefully protect us and make us aware that something needs to change.  In reaction, we slow our speed and put the car in 4-wheel drive, make a trip to the doctor, or replace batteries.  If the signs were only so noticeable when it comes to recognizing our need for spiritual renewal!  You won’t drive past a road sign, whip out a thermometer, or hear a buzzer but the signs really are more obvious than you might think.

How do you know when to push the pause button on your seemingly endless desire to give, so that your personal fire can be tended to?  What signs tell you that you need to fill your spiritual pantry before serving up any more biblical food to others?  Sometimes you can be fooled into thinking that if you can just get through this one busy week, then the passion, the energy, and the closeness will return.  But when the week is over, another jam-packed week is close behind and there never seems to be the time or the opportunity to renew the relationship.  Barney Fife was famous for saying, “You got to nip it in the bud.”  In other words, catch the problem early on.  Being spiritually depleted is a lonely place to be.  However, there are some signs to watch for that will help you “nip it in the bud.”  When recognized, these signals will protect you and rattle your consciousness that something needs to change.  Let’s look at what may be happening in your daily life that’s trying to tell you it’s time to focus on your spiritual walk.

YOU MAY BE IN NEED OF SPIRITUAL RENEWAL IF . . .

1.  THE MUSIC IS MISSING.  This is one of the first signs I notice in my life.  Music is a huge part of feeding my spirit, and when my spiritual resources are being drained, I do exactly opposite of what I should do.  Instead of turning the music up even louder or playing it more often, I avoid hitting the “on” switch.  The role music plays in restoration is incredibly biblical.  A few exceptionally gifted and talented people, anointed by God, write the music and the lyrics while the rest of us benefit from their insight.  The words of a song oftentimes express the cries of my heart when I don’t even know what it is I’m feeling.  Through music, God assures us of His faithfulness, teaches us His Word, and reminds us who He is.

2.  YOU’VE MOVED FROM PARTICIPANT TO ONLOOKER.  When you choose not to participate in the corporate worship service one week, it may because you are tired, not feeling well or distracted by a problem.  But when one week becomes two, and two weeks become three, and you find your self satisfied to be an onlooker instead of a participant, it’s evident that something isn’t as it should be.

3.  YOU NOW LOOK FOR  FAULT IN LEADERSHIP.  Instead of admitting the inadequacies in your own life, you displace the dissatisfaction you’re feeling on the the leadership of the church.  You hear yourself thinking ( or maybe even saying aloud):  the pastor’s sermon just isn’t up to par anymore;  the worship leader isn’t showing enthusiasm as he leads;  my small group leader wouldn’t notice if I wasn’t there.

4.  IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE SOMETHING GAVE YOU GOOSE BUMPS.  When was the last time you got a good case of goose bumps, because someone shared with you how God embraced the circumstances of their life?  How long has it been since a child’s innocence and openness brought tears to your eyes?  God’s hands are never idle.  When we’re in need of spiritual renewal, though, we have a tendency to develop spiritual calluses that keep us from rejoicing with others.  We miss out on being so moved that our bodies have to physically react to what God is doing.  One of the main sources of renewal is seeing God’s faithfulness in the lives of those around us.  Severing the ability to be touched by the testimonies of others cuts off a spiritual life source.

5.  YOU’RE MAKING EXCUSES IN THE MINISTRY GOD CALLED YOU TO.  You were so sure you were in the ministry God planned for your life, and now you find yourself questioning if you heard Him right.  When your heart is lacking the passion you once felt, you overlook teh reason (your spiritual hunger) and create an excuse.  Excuses are the mechanism you use to cover up what ’s really going on.

6.  YOU HEAR YOURSELF SAY, “I CAN DO IT ON MY OWN.”  Somewhere along the line, you started flying solo and God didn’t create you to do that.  “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”  That beautiful verse doesn’t say we can do all things on our own.  The strength has to come from somewhere, and once you’ve used yours, there’s nothing to call upon if you’re trying it on your own.  God’s strength just keeps on coming and coming, though; you can never exhasust it, and that’s why all things are possible.  Your energy will run out.  Your vision will run out.  You’ll find yourself in a well that has dried up.  It’s time for spiritual renewal!

7.  YOUR COMMITMENT LESSENS.  commitments that you never dreamed you would back away from lessen in value.  The comforter is cozy on Sunday morning, so you call the substitute to pinch-hit for you.  There’s a great movie on television tonight, so you skip family devotions.  Even though you’ve been given an obvious teachable moment to relate an important life lesson to the kids in your influence, you pass on the opportunity.  What you were once so strongly committed to isn’t so urgent.

8.  YOUR PRAYER LIFE CHANGES.  Have you ever had a misunderstanding with someone, and instead of dealing with it right then and there, you avoid the person?  When we need spiritual renewal, we’ve departed from our initmate relationship with the Lord, and we know that’s not pleasing to Him, and we know deep inside that it’s not pleasing to us, either.  Our daily time of prayer changes when our spirits are hungry.  As an alternative to pouring our hearts out to the Lord, our prayers focus on anything but the emptiness that we’re experiencing.  It’s an avoidance tactic.  Instead of crying out for a renewed and alive personal faith, we go through the motions of prayer without exosing our souls before the Lord.

9.  YOUR PEACE IS MISSING.  The assurance that God is in control is now followed by a question mark.  Worry and impatience have replaced the knowledge that God will accompany us through whatever life throws our way.  A typical characteristic of needing spiritual renewal is that your words may articulate that you’ve given your difficult circumstances to the Lord while you’re still clutching the pain and forfeiting His peace.

You may have other warning signs that alert you to the fact that your heart is in need of a fresh walk with the Lord.  The important thing is to identify those personal signs, acknowledge them when they happen, and then take action before it goes any further.  I’m sure you know people who act completely different when they’re hungry.  They’re grumpy, irritable, and say things they don’t intend to say.  In short, when their stomach is empty, they’re just not themselves.  It’s the same with us when we are spiritually hungry.  We don’t act like the people God created us to be.  We say and do things that are totally our of character for us when our spirits are full.  The good news is spiritual renewal not only brings you back to where you were, but takes you the next step in your journey with the Lord.

This article by Tina Houser appears in the May/June issue of K Magazine.

Some parents are frustrated because their children are so self-focused that they can’t seem to grasp the concept of honoring others. How can you help children think about other people instead of always thinking about themselves?

One helpful way is to teach kids to recognize emotions in others and then know how to respond accordingly. One dad wanted to work on honor with his seven-year-old daughter, Diane, who was self-centered, always talking and thinking about herself. He used a journal and, in the evening, asked Diane to identify examples of a friend or family member who was sad, mad, or glad that day. Then he asked the question, “How might you respond to that person in a helpful way?”

They continued this exercise every evening for two weeks. After awhile it helped Diane get outside of herself, look at the needs and feelings of others, and then talk about ways to respond with honor. When her brother is mad, it might be best to leave him alone or to just ask a helpful question. With her friend who is sad, she could offer to help and then listen empathetically. When Mom is glad, Diane could enter into that gladness by listening to the story and enjoying the situation too.

The Bible says in Philippians 2:3, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better than yourselves.” That’s good advice for all of us. Seeing and responding to emotions in others is a great way to start.

This parenting tip comes from the book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids, by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

The Kingdom is that place where the King is joyfully obeyed.  The King has a throne and subjects.  He has both authority and the power to make up laws.  He’s the Boss, the sovereign Majesty, the rightful Ruler.  Because the King is good, the Kingdom is a fantastic place where everything is just exactly as it ought to be.  However, one day in the Kingdom, there was a violent rebellion.  Revelation chapter 12 describes it.  The rebels said to God, “You’re not the boss of me.  I’m gonna go where I wanna go, say what I wanna say, do anything I wanna do, and you can’t run my life!”  When that happened, another kingdom began.  Now there are two kingdoms, Light and Darkness.  In the Kingdom of Light there’s righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.  The Kingdom of Darkness stands in contrast with its wickedness, fighting, and emptiness that comes from being separated from God.

There was war in Heaven, and the Kingdom of Darkness lost and got kicked out.  The rebels landed splat on the planet earth.  Adam and Eve should have kicked them out as well, but instead, they joined up with the rebellion and said to the King, “You’re not the boss of me.  You can’t tell me how to run my life!  I’m gonna go where I wanna go, say what I wanna say, and do anything I wanna do.”  This world became the Kingdom of Darkness.  Now you can pick up any paper, watch any broadcast, or search the internet for news and you’ll see people fighting, scratching, and clawing each other.  People set up their own little kingdoms where they make the rules hoping everyone else will bow down to them, especially God.  It’s a mess, and each of us has turned away from God and said,

“You’re not the King, I am.”  So the history of the world is a story of the great rebellion separating us from the Kingdom of Light. 

Into this desperate situation came One to rescue us, the only son of the King of the Kingdom.  He came as a baby in a manger, lived a life of total obedience to the rules of the Kingdom of Light, and preached this sermon, “Repent for the Kingdom of God is at hand, for I brought it here!  Whichever of you rebels will return to the rightful King and place yourself in obedience to Him will be forgiven and restored!”  Then the Son of the King died on the cross to take the punishment we deserved for our rebellion, and made a way for us to repent and believe.  When we return and submit to the King, we are not just allowed back in by the skin of our teeth; we actually get to be called children of the King.

How do we enter this life? - By being born.  How do we enter the Kingdom of God? - By being born again.  When we are born again, we become part of the Royal Family.   Royal blood is not something that can be earned.  Royal blood is not a reward; it’s a natural consequence of a birth relationship with the King.  We become born again when we surrender to the King and say, “You’re the boss of me.  I wanna go wherever you go, I wanna say whatever you tell me to say, and do anything you may ask or command.  I want to follow Jesus, and have Him live in me and shine through my life.”  Kids can easily understand this because it’s a story that’s written on the original software of every human being.

The good news is the story of the Kingdom of Light and how the King loved His rebellious subjects so much that He made a way for them to come back.

An excerpt from an article in K Magazine (May/June 2008) by Alan Root.

Don’t you feel like some days you have to discipline kids for the same things over and over again? The child who has a problem hitting, interrupting, or just being annoying to others may need a lot of correction.

It’s these problems that are great candidates for a Positive Conclusion. Each time the negative behavior takes place, have the child take a short break and then come back to you for a debriefing. During that conversation, one of the questions should be, “What are you going to do differently next time?”

 When you ask this question your child has to state the right response back to you. If Bill is frustrated with his brother Jack and responds by arguing or saying unkind things or grabbing, the right response is to talk about the problem. If you continue to discipline Bill for these wrong responses and he continues to verbalize that the right response is to talk about it, eventually he is able to catch himself sooner and talk to Jack about the problem without using the negative behaviors. This takes time and repeated discipline sessions, but children learn by repetition and frequent, gently reminders.

Sometimes children don’t know what they should have done differently. In fact, some parents are so used to telling their children what not to do, they, themselves, don’t even know what the right response should be. Sometimes the solutions are not easy. That’s all the more reason to use this question with children. Both parent and child can brainstorm about alternatives to unwanted behavior.

By communicating the right response to you verbally, your child will begin to see the difference and learn to change.

This tip comes from the book Home Improvement, The Parenting Book You Can Read to Your Kids by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller RN BSN.